if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless
My great aunt stabbed her husband in the stomach on their anniversary and he decided not to divorce her because he didn’t want a custody battle over the goats.
I JUST GOT ALL FLUSTERED AND FORGOT HOW TO PRONOUNCE WORDS AND ENDED UP ORDERING A “CHICKEN QUESADILDO”
"heres ur order m’am"
the fact that you can look at “dildo” and think “armadillo" is one of the most innocent things I’ve ever seen in my life
I THOUGHT IT SAID DILLO I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP
I feel as fucking useless as a white fucking crayon
u just gotta find someone who prefers black paper my friend
That’s deep bro
You’ve never drawn with a white crayon and painted over it with watercolour?
White crayons are awesome!
why dont humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees here lets leave immediately” why are elephants more advanced than us
we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this:
“there are bees here lets leave immediately”